As a kid, I grew up differently due to a disability called Asperger's. This caused me to relate to people and even God differently to other people and made it harder to understand that relationship aspect with people and God.
I grew up in the church but didn’t understand the relational side of the faith until I was a bit older. I have always believed in God, but I have had doubts, not so much who He was, but more so His plan for my life and why things happen the way they do; and yea I’ve had moments I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, just like everyone else.
There have been times that I have felt alone, broken, sad, despair and even abandonment and this mainly comes on when my last relationship ended and all these emotions lasted about three years. There were so many questions after the breakup that didn’t add up and that is what made it hard. But in the end, we all struggle. No one is free from struggling, but we have the ability to focus on the struggles or even our emotions - or look to God, who is still good and always will be - we can have a hope in Him and it makes it a bit easier to move on even though we may not understand things.
I love being creative; - it has helped me in many seasons in life. For me, it really came out in school as a natural way of dealing with my stress and anxiety and allowed me to express myself without a filter and it would help me express myself creatively. I believe there is an ability to create something and have no limitations. There are no rules or any boundaries when creating something and you can go far with it, I believe you can create something new and fresh and it has the ability to bring forth emotions to not only the creative person but to everyone who sees it. Sometimes when I paint, there may not be a story behind the image until sometimes the very end, and it can even show the colours. At the time, I may not understand it, but in the end, it can show something deeper.
I don’t just paint, but I also love the film industry. I have always loved movies and even the stories behind the movie. I didn’t know it could be an option until grade 11 and that you can actually pursue a career in film. Since then I have graduated from the New York Film Academy in the area of media and screen on the Gold Coast and I hope to one day director and produce films that influence people through impacting stories and messages, by raising issues that need to be addressed and starting conversations that start change. The best thing about a film is that you can bring people on a journey with you by creating characters and stories that people can relate to that open these doors.
During my time at NYFA I was given a nickname which was “cowboy”. This started during the first two weeks of film school as it was raining pretty much all the time and being a film student you don’t really have the money to buy things such as umbrellas. So over those two weeks all I had was my Cowboy hat and my denim vest; so I became “Cowboy”. The thing is, I love the countryside. long grass, open fields. But this only really developed over the years.
The people that know me, know that I aim to treat people and especially women with a sense of respect and honour. I am a romantic, some people think its stupid or that even chivalry is dead. But I believe chivalry is not just how you treat women, but it is a lifestyle and how you treat people altogether. This whole lifestyle was modelled to me by my Dad, I really admire him and how he treats Mum. Watching him has taught me how women should be treated. When you treat a woman right they bloom.
However, over the years we have seen the general value of women become more and more distorted by images presented by the adult and porn industries to see unhealthy trends accepted as normal. They devalue women and who they are by making them objects of desire, rather than a priceless people. This has caused some major issues such as sexual abuse, and a general lack of appreciation and respect for them in society. For me, by being a gentleman and being chivalrous, I want to treat women with the respect they deserve regardless of their job, appearance or background. I feel like more of a man for that. I believe that we need to bring back values and realistic higher standards for ourselves.
If I could give advice to any guy when it comes to relationships or how they treat people during your walk in life it would be this; Guard your heart, listen to wise counsel, and make sure you set sensible boundaries. But most of all; Do it with God. Seek Him, trust Him and know that He has the perfect plan for your life.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.