Real Talk with Nadeesha

Brisbrane Photographer

I'm Nadeesha; I'm 27 years old and I was born and raised in Sri Lanka, a beautiful island in the Indian ocean. when I was 16 years old, I moved to Australia with my parents and my little brother. Although I spent most of my childhood in Sri Lanka I always felt out of place. I felt as if people are judging me because of my quirky and weird personality. I always wanted to try things that were out of the normal, but people around me made it difficult. Once I moved to Australia I felt more at ease. I was able to express myself and feel accepted more. 

Since I was about 5 years old I have been on the edge and really 'sad'. Every day is a new kind of sadness. At that time, of course, I did not know that this was depression. There were many possible reasons that might have affected me to end up with depression and anxiety. These reasons are extremely personal to me. My anxiety was mainly due to not being accepted for who I am in the society. I felt left out. As I grew older I got more depressed and anxious. I would have panic attacks very frequently. I also became very violent as a defence mechanism. I always felt neglected, because no one understood why I was this way. I have been called crazy, stupid, attention seeker and much more. The more I received these responses the more I became depressed. I grew up not knowing what was wrong with me or how to deal with it.  

When I was at the age of 22 after a serious relationship breakup I ended up extremely sick. It was a physically and mentally abusive relationship. Although the relationship ended my mental health deteriorated rapidly due to the effects of it. My parents eventually took me to a psychiatrist. There, I got to know why I was the way I am, what was wrong with me and how I can help myself to get better. Although I have been in and out of therapy sessions and taken various medications I still struggle every day. Not knowing how I will feel tomorrow is the hardest thing. 
Many of my life events increased my health issues. Some days I am extremely energetic and happy, but most of the days I am feeling down and do not want to get out of my room. When I am depressed my mind is telling me to do things that I typically would not want to. Suicidal thoughts play a major part in my depression. Certain days I hate seeing or talking to anybody.  I am often unsure when I will feel better again, but when I do feel better I am anxious about the thought of being depressed again. 

Still to this day he is the only person that can completely understand me. He is the only one I can be 100% myself with and bare my soul. However, our relationship and beautiful marriage has taken a toll due to my recurring depression and anxiety attacks. He feels frustrated not knowing how to help me. I have felt even more depressed as I feel like I am failing my marriage. I feel as if I am not being the wife that he deserves due to my mental health. Certain life events that occurred recently has lead to a very difficult journey for both of us. I am scared for my life as I do not know how things will turn out. 

Depression is not just being sad. Anxiety is not being dramatic or seeking attention. These are two major issues that certain people struggle their whole life to deal with. If someone is vocal about their depression and anxiety telling them to 'Get over it' will only make the issue worse. Try to listen to their story and understand what they are feeling. Show them that they are not alone and you will help them overcome their difficult time.  

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A person who struggles with these issues need a great support group. Partners, families and friends should listen to their loved one with depression and always be by their side. Make time for your loved one before it is too late. Every day is a new low with depression and anxiety

However, you cannot let it overcast your life. Keeping yourself busy with a job, family, friends or hobbies are simple ways to divert your focus away from the difficult times. Trying new treatments that are allocated for people with depression and anxiety and sticking to one that is helpful is a good way to decrease the effects of the low mood. Simple activities such as taking a walk or watching a movie that you like can help lift up your mood. Trying to understand the reasons behind your mental state helps you to treat the root cause. Meditation and yoga have helped me enormously to calm myself to a certain degree. Spending time with your loved ones is important rather than being alone by yourself. If you feel depressed and suicidal always seek help, talk to someone you trust or your psychologist or contact the help hotlines provided by the government. You need to find out the best-suited method to help yourself. 

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